November 2011
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This is my first and last weekend of unemployment. I just quit my barista/waitressing job at the cafe and I’m going to start work at a local magazine come Monday. I’m terrified that I will fuck up.
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The thing I miss the most from being in a relationship is the assurance that someone will crawl into bed later in the wee hours with you even if you choose to go to bed early.
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Why is it that even in death, there’s a desire to be remembered? The possibility of a legacy and the leaving behind of memory…. To live a life for the future is….
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“When I see you, I just think of R! It’s so funny! His girlfriend is my form teacher, you know?” Just then I didn’t know if the stone in my throat was going to come up or fall down to my intestines. It’s interesting to note that even though I go out of my way to avoid all your friends and family and everything else, you still pop up in the most unexpected people.
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Every morning the day wakes up and I feel like I’m living on paid time. Or on time that shouldn’t even exist for me. I want to be responsible and I try my best to be reliable but I’m such a liar and such a unreliable person.
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Now let me be clear. It’s not that I’m afraid of feelings. It’s not that I’m afraid to face up to my feelings. It’s that when it lands in the hands of someone else that it be comes slightly dangerous.
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rumpshaker:
there’s a reason why i suck at relationships: i only want to see you when it’s convenient for me.
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